Oh, we had a fight. He got really angry in the kitchen, and I got scared. I cried and cried as he was in the bedroom napping or using the computer or both. I had had a visceral reaction to his anger, something about when I was a kid. I hid my reaction because I thought I needed to.
So I got stuck, unable to move forward or back. I drank water and stared out the window as I cried. I tried to cry quietly because I didn't want to upset him more. This doesn't actually make sense. I was getting confused again.
But eventually we talked, and he comforted me. I told most of the truth about what scared me. Later, as we drove home from the garden in my truck, I told more of the truth: how I had been afraid for the future. If my problems weren't compatible with his problems. How often would he do this, and could I live like that?
So we went to the garden after we got gas. I planted a large basil while he dumped compost. And we came home and I regular blogged and took a shower and we ate dinner of leftover rice & lentils.
"Can I juice your grapefruit?" I asked. The grapefruit had been around a while.
"How would you do that?" he asked.
"I would squeeze it!" I said. But he wanted the grapefruit to eat out of hand. "Can I peel it for you?" I asked. So I peeled it and ate two segments--they were delicious.
Then he wanted chocolate coffee ice cream, but I didn't want to walk to the co-op. "Actually, I'm feeling a little amorous?" I said.
"Oh, never mind, then," he said. We stood up together, and I pushed him against the door. We kissed. Then he turned me around and pushed me up against the door. He held my arms up, held me by the wrists the way he knows I like. We kissed.
Then he had to pee, and I saw him in the bathroom. He sat on the seat with his cock between his legs, and I wanted to watch, but he didn't seem to be going. "I need to drink more water," he said.
"Can I get you water?" I asked. So I got him water and let him pee in peace.
In the bedroom, I told him I wanted to lie down and for him to lick my nipples for a long time. He said he could do that.
He licked and touched my nipples, and it felt so good. My right hand automatically went to my cunt. He was on my left. I explored myself. Yes, it was very wet there. Yes, my clitoris was large.
"I'm thinking about you putting a condom on your fingers and sticking them in my ass," I said. He seemed to consider that. I enjoyed the idea.
"I'm also thinking about having sex with you and N at the same time," I said.
"Tell me about it," he said.
"I'm afraid of hurting your feelings," I said.
"No, you're not," he said. "I mean, I hear you're afraid, but you don't need to be."
"Okay," I said. I explained how I wanted her to touch my breasts the way he was touching my breasts as he fucked me selfishly.
"That turns you on, doesn't it?" he asked.
"Absolutely," I said.
I explained how I wanted him to stick his cock up inside me then inside her, one then the other and back again. I explained how I wanted her to suck his cock while I watched. I explained how I wanted to go down on her while he fucked me from behind.
"I love you," I said.
"Tell her that," he said.
"I love you, N," I said. For years I have been fantasizing about being in bed with her, and I have masturbated while begging her for her body in my mind for years.
I moved his hand to my cunt. I made him touch me the way I touch myself. He brought me to the edge, and I didn't want to come yet. I stopped him. Again I made him take me to the edge and stopped him. I had my arms around him, and I caressed his body in a dreamy way. Then finally, I did let him make me come. I grabbed him as the waves of pleasure hit me, one after another. The feelings were so real.
As I regained myself, I held my hand to my nose. "The smell of the grapefruit is mixed up with mine, and it smells really good!" I said. I held my hand to his nose so he could smell it too.
I had never felt so close to him. "I feel like I can tell you anything," I said later.
"You can," he said. And he said he was sorry for getting angry earlier. I smiled.
He pet my hair, and like usual, I asked him to tell me I'm a very, very, very good girl. He did. I asked him to tell me he likes the way I suck his cock. He did. I asked him to tell me, "I approve of you." He validated me.