Tuesday, May 9, 2017

night visits, five minutes in the closet


I want to tell you about my fantasy that she comes to stay over and every night Boyfriend leaves my side to fuck her while I'm sleeping.  He gets up in the night anyway--I'm used to him leaving, returning.

Every night he goes to her room, wakes her up, and fucks her as quickly and quietly as possible, then leaves.

But the final night--she is leaving the next day--he lingers with her after fucking her, then licks her pussy.  He's licking with so much joy in his heart, but she's making small sounds, and he gets scared.  He needs her to be quiet.

He hesitates, and she pushes down on his head, telling him to keep licking her clit.  She's close to coming, and he's never seen her come before.

He's intrigued and wants to please her, yet he's scared what will happen.  She starts to come, and he pushes on her clit with his tongue.  His face turns red as she cries out.  It's the middle of the night, and did she wake me up?

The fantasy has a few different endings.  I wake up and look for him.  I find him in her room and cry.  Or he licks my pussy next.  Or something like that.


I also want to tell you the fantasy about five minutes in the closet.  Five minutes is kind of a long time.  I've never played this in real life.  I wonder in real life how it would be.  Some conversation, or right to kissing and groping?  Or just groping? just a blow job?  And how does consent work, in the closet, where it must be dark...I wonder.

And what else is in the closet?  Hopefully not a mop and broom.  Hopefully no spiders.

Anyway, stop being so realistic, Anarchist Girlfriend.

We're over at her house, and her spouse isn't home, but our mutual friend is.  "Do you want to play a game?" she asks.  It's after lunch and we want to spend more time together.

We consider the board games and card games she has in a pile.  We think about it, but I don't really like games.  "How about spin the bottle?" I ask shyly.

There's an empty bottle on the table, and she spins it.  It points at our mutual friend.  They smile.  She walks over to him, leans over toward him.  He stands up, and they kiss.  It's been a long time since they kissed.  They feel excited.

Then our mutual friend spins the bottle.  It points at Anarchist Boyfriend.  He walks over to him and they have a brief kiss.

Then Boyfriend spins the bottle.  It points at her.  How will I feel when he kisses her, his dick erect in his pants?

They've been wanting this for a long time.  They both stand up and step toward one another.  They embrace, their upper bodies together and lower bodies too.  They cautiously kiss, but their mouths open, and they lick at each other with the passion of years of tension.  I feel sort of hurt and sort of excited.  Happy for them but jealous as he pushes against her for a little too long.

They detach from one another reluctantly.  Boyfriend's heart is pounding.  He smiles at me, and I can almost hear him tell me, "This was a good idea!"

She spins the bottle and it points at me.  We smile and I actually quietly laugh.  I remember ten years before, when our friendship was newer and more seemed possible.  I always wanted to be her girlfriend, but how would that have worked?  It couldn't have worked.

We step toward one another, and my cunt is aching.  We hug each other like always, but for longer, and then we kiss, and it's a relief from twelve years of wanting.

It's cuddly and sweet yet she slips her tongue in my mouth and I feel loved.

We stop and step away from one another, look at each other, and I feel something important has finally happened.  I feel serious.

I don't spin the bottle.  I sit down and take a deep breath.  "How about five minutes in the closet?" I suggest.  They're agreeable, and we designate a room as the closet.

I spin the bottle, and it points to our mutual friend.  I have always wanted to have sex with him, but is the time right?

We go to the room together and I say, "What do you think?"

"I think you should give me a blowjob," he says, and he hugs me tight.  We kiss.  It's our first time kissing, and it doesn't feel like I thought it would.

I take off my shirt and bra.  "Do you think they're really timing us?" I ask.  I imagine them in the other room, and what are they doing anyway?

He's unfastening his pants.  My cunt is throbbing.  He pulls down his pants and underwear, and his huge dick is there for me to look at, so plump and real.

He stares at my tits and gently touches them.

What should I do?  I'm thinking about his dick in my hands, in my mouth.  Should I go through with it?  What if I can't make him come quickly enough and we're interrupted?  Is this a stupid idea?

I touch it.  He's sitting on the couch.  He takes off his glasses and puts them on the small table.

I get on my knees and begin the blowjob.  It's been a long time since I've interacted with an intact dick, and the foreskin throws me off, but I get the hang of it.

He's clearly happy.  He quietly moans.  "Shhh," I say.  I wonder if they can hear us, in the other room.

I can't get his dick very far in my mouth, it's so big.  I've never seen one this big in real life.  He'd told me it was huge, but I wasn't sure I believed him.

It takes some work, and I'm happy to do the work.  I think of all the other women who have blown him.  I feel a confusing mixture of feelings.

Then his breathing changes and I'm relieved he's going to come, but should I let him come in my mouth?  I hold him in my hands as his huge thing ejaculates on my chest.  His come drips onto my tits, and there are tissues on the small table, so I wipe up his semen as he glows.  We smile at one another.

We dress quickly and I put the wet tissues in my pants pocket.

We return to the other room.  "Has it been five minutes?" I ask breathlessly.

They laugh.  "More like 15," she says, and I feel grateful that no one walked in on us.

"Whose turn is it to spin the bottle?" I ask, confused.

"To hell with the bottle," she says.  "I want to blow your boyfriend."

I figure they've been talking about it while the mutual friend and I were in the other room.  Boyfriend looks at me, wondering what my reaction will be.  I love him so much and want him to get what he wants.

My pussy is all wet from when I was blowing our mutual friend.  "Go for it," I say.  "But only five minutes."

Those two go into the other room, and I get some water from the kitchen.  Mutual friend and I hold hands at the table.

They strip so quickly and are kissing and rubbing at each other.  He touches her tits and sucks each nipple.  She reaches for his dick immediately, and it's hard in her hand.  Their bodies are so smooth and beautiful.  They caress each other's backs.

"Can I blow you?" she asks.

"Yes," boyfriend says.

She licks the underside the way he likes it, and he moans.  He wants to come so badly.

She fingers her wet clit and slowly takes all of his dick in her mouth.  She gags on it and he is in heaven.  It's just what he imagined.

She rubs and rubs herself as she blows and blows him.

I look at the clock.  Four minutes have passed.

"I want you in my pussy," she says, gasping.  She is near orgasm, and she wants a dick so badly up inside her.

They're both confused about whether this is allowed, and they don't really care.  He would love to pound her cunt and shoot his load there.

So she climbs on the couch on all fours, and he approaches behind her.  It's awkward, with the cushions.

He wonders if he should wear a condom as he always promised me, but there's no condom and they're in a rush.

He slips himself inside her, and her pussy clenched around his dick is the best feeling in the world.  She comes with a growl and her body spasms in his arms and he holds her from behind.

He's fucking her when I open the door.  He sees me and fucks her faster then shoots his load in her cunt as deeply as possible, eyes closed, grunting.

I feel glad I got to see it but hurt that he didn't use a condom.  They dress.

The fantasy could go a few different ways here.  My favorite is that Boyfriend and mutual friend decide to lick my pussy and her pussy respectively as we all are together in bed.  So she and I do get off, in the end.

Friday, December 30, 2016

what I didn't know I could do

Today we went out into the desert. I was daydreaming about sex. Boyfriend went on a hike without me. I sat in the car writing and imagining his body on me.

When we got home, he turned on the heater in the bedroom. In half an hour we took our clothes off and climbed into bed.

I wanted him to put the pear-scented body butter on my nipples. He warmed the tin of it beneath his chest then puts dollops of it onto his fingertips and rubbed it on my sensitive nipples.

In the winter our hands are cold. First he caresses me on my butt and hips where my underwear is so that he isn't in direct contact with my skin. I caress him and ask if my hands are too cold, and he says no.

My hands roamed all over his body and I touched his beautiful dick. I was having a fantasy about rubbing my cunt on his dick. He was rubbing the body butter on my nipples and it smelled delicious.

I asked him if I could rub my cunt on his dick and he said yes. First I sucked on it to get it wet.

Then I climbed on him and positioned myself with my cunt on his dick. I rubbed up and down. I pushed the head of his dick against my clitoris.

Meanwhile his hands were caressing my shoulders, my back, my hips and thighs. I felt loved and wanted.

I rubbed my cunt on his dick faster and asked him, "Do you want me to put it into me?"  He said yes so we together slid his dick into my hole.

He filled me completely. My nipples bumped up against his chest as I rode him.

Always before he would push down on my hips and come quickly. Today instead he caressed my body, and I pushed myself up against him in the ways that felt best for me.

I felt myself getting closer and closer to orgasm. I had never come on top of him like that. I wondered if I could do it.

"Oh my god," I whispered.

I pushed up against him and knew my orgasm was inevitable. I pushed again a few times and suddenly the waves were pounding through my body. I felt my cunt spasm around his dick. I concentrated with my entire will on not yelling or screaming.

I was so happy and delighted. I climbed off of him. My arms hurt. I relaxed and caressed his chest. "That was magical," I told him.

Saturday, October 29, 2016


I bought some spun cinnamon honey at the farmers market.  It was in a little clear plastic bowl with a clear lid that clicked, and it came with a wooden thing--like a popsickle stick but wider and shorter.  I wanted him to put it on my nipples and lick it off.

So we undressed and caressed one another's naked bodies.  I took the lid off the honey and set it on a paper towel with the wooden thing.  His big dick looked so beautiful and I wanted to put honey on it and suck the honey off.

I asked him if I could, and he said yes.  "Does this feel okay?" I asked as I gently spread some honey on him with the wooden thing.

"Yes," he said.

It looked beautiful.  The head of his cock is so big, and it looked even bigger with a little honey gleaming on it.

I gently touched the honey with my fingers.  It was liquidy yet viscous like a nice lube but so much better because I knew I would like ingesting it.

I held his dick in my honeyed hand and masturbated him a little, spreading the honey around.  He liked it.  I licked his dick and tasted the honey for the first time.  I was curious about how much it would taste like cinnamon.  It was kind of subtle.

I sucked on the head of his dick enthusiastically.  I popped it in and out of my mouth.  Then I took him all the way and he liked that too.

I blew him in this way.  I put more honey on after a little while, again with the wooden thing, and how beautiful he looked.

When he came in my mouth, the come mixing with the honey, the good feelings of love.  His happiness and satisfaction.

Then I ate the rest of the honey with the wooden thing and it was so good.  I licked out every last bit.

Monday, August 8, 2016


Tonight he told me this story.

There's a horse, and she's walking around.  She has great big labia.  (I giggle.)

Then there's another horse.  He has a great big dick.  Do you like to look at horse's dicks?  (I say I haven't looked at many but yes.)

So the little horse with the great big labia--I actually don't know how this works, because I haven't seen it--the big horse puts his dick into the little horse, and it's going to hurt.  He slides it in and out of her, and he ejaculates.  His come leaks out and drips into the ground...

(Tell me a story about the child watching the horses, I say.)

Thursday, February 18, 2016


Yesterday we went to a record store that also has some books, and I was reading bits of books of erotica.  Some of it was cliche, but some of it was good.  

In one of the books, I read about a blowjob where the blowjobber made the man come three times.  That sounded really fun.

I told anarchist boyfriend about it.  Then I told him another story--there was a sex blogger who was a man who went to prostitutes.  He would make them get him off twice, and the second time was work.  I always remember that.  

I want to know the secrets of prostitutes.

We had sex, and then in the evening we had sex again.  I told him to ask me questions about my sexual past and then call me a slut for my answers.

It was fun.  When he called me a slut, it made my cunt ache.  I was touching his dick.  "Tell me about a time you played with someone's titties," he said.  "Did you like it?"

"Yeah, I liked it a lot," I said.  "I only had two girlfriends, and I really loved both of them.  Well, there was another...  I really like titties."

"You slut," he said.  

I laughed, but it turned me on.  

"Tell me about a time you sucked someone's dick and didn't like it," he said.

"Well, my first boyfriend, I didn't much like having sex with him at all.  I felt like I had to do it."

"You had to keep him happy?" anarchist boyfriend asked.

"I guess so.  More like I thought I was supposed to."

"You slut," he said.

Again I laughed.  I reminded him of the story of me losing my virginity in a costume room in a theater during a play.  I was on top.  

"Were your tits in his face?" anarchist boyfriend asked.

"I don't remember..." I said.

"You slut," he said.  

He wanted me to blow him, and when I began, he was so happy with me.  The head of his cock was so big in my mouth.  I held the base of his dick and concentrated on the head, moving my mouth around it, making it slippery with my spit, and he said, "Oh, that feels so good," over and over again.

Then I took him in all the way, gagging on him, and that excited him too.  I touched his thighs as I blew him.  I caressed his balls.  

I said I wanted him in me, hurting me, and I climbed on top.  He said he wanted my tits in his face.  I put him inside of me, and it did hurt.

"Look at my tits," I said as I rode him.

"You're beautiful," he said.

"Look at my hair," I said.  "Do you think it's pretty?"

"You're pretty," he said.  

"It hurts," I said.

He grabbed my hips and pushed me down on him in a new way, and it hurt more.  "Ow," I moaned.

"I'm going to come," he said.

"Call me a slut when you come," I said.

"You slut," he said.  We stopped moving and I could feel him coming inside me.  "You slut.  You slut."

Tuesday, January 5, 2016


Recently, anarchist boyfriend has been whispering to me about Shiva.  In our imaginations, he loves Shiva's matted hair.  I love that Shiva is easily pleased by his devotees.  I also like the way Shiva has gorgeous round tits and a lovely cunt and a huge dick.  Shiva has all the good parts.  How auspicious!  And he's blue.

Our pronouns shift a lot when we talk about Shiva.  Boyfriend says that sticking his cock into her cunt is like sticking his cock into another dimension.  I'm not jealous.  I know Shiva is a god and has aspects that I never could.  And she can do amazing things with all those hands.

We went to the town where we used to live and saw our old Swami.  "What should we talk to him about?" we wondered before we went.

"Not Shiva," boyfriend said, which made me laugh.

Last night we undressed in the bedroom and I sat on the bed.  Boyfriend was naked before me, standing, and I touched his cock.  It was big and got harder.  I kissed his tummy and touched his pubic hair, petting it.  I caressed his ass and legs.

Somehow I started kissing his cock, and before I knew it, he was in my mouth.  He put one knee on the bed to steady himself as I sucked.  He tasted good.  I love him.

"Does it feel good?" I asked.  He wasn't giving me much feedback.

"It feels wonderful," he said quietly.

I sucked on him some more, gagging.  "I'm going to come soon," he said.  I held his dick in my hands, between my tits, and I felt it spasm again and again in my hand.

He was happy.  But it had happened so quickly.  But it was a treat to have him in my hands as he came.  It was unusual.

He was still hard.  "Did you come all the way?" I asked.

He said he wasn't sure, and then he masturbated on me.  He ejaculated again.

"Did that feel good?" I asked, and he said yes.  "Was it like you got to come twice?" I asked.

"Maybe one and a half," he said as I wiped his semen off my chest and tits with a tissue.  We hadn't talked about Shiva.

We lay back on the bed, and he touched my nipples gently.  I was horny and it felt good.  But it was late, and I was tired.  I don't remember how we progressed to sleep, but we went to bed somehow.

Lately when we have sex, I think about him impregnating other people.  I imagine they are having trouble conceiving with their partner and anarchist boyfriend takes over.  We all have sex together.  He ejaculates into her sweet pussy right in time.

As for Shiva, getting him to ejaculate in me might lead to half-god babies.  I don't know what it might lead to.

This morning as we cuddled, boyfriend said he wanted to impregnate me.  I love it when he says that.  I feel so treasured and happy when he says that.  His vasectomy assures that that couldn't happen, thank gods.

Monday, November 23, 2015

hotel fantasy

The one I most want him to fuck.  Why is that?  It's a chemistry thing.  She's really sexy in a really accessible way.  And she's a friend.  I'd like to fuck her too.

My main fantasy goes like this.  It's actually a fantasy but also a fantasy about a conversation.

They are going somewhere together and have to stay overnight in a hotel.  "How many times do you think you could make her come?" I asked him.

"Eight," he said.  I thought that was a good guess.  In real life, I have no idea, but in our fantasy life, eight sounds about right.

"What's the first way you make her come?" I imagine asking him.

"I want to lick her pussy," he tells me.  I imagine him with his face in her cunt.  He is so good at it.  Ever since he first went down on me, three and a half years ago, I've been wanting to share him with other women because he gives the best head in the world.

So they're in bed.  In reality, though there's no reality here, only fantasy--I guess layers of fantasy--there's a pause, a look, taking off the clothes, the first time she sees his beautiful erection, he first time he caresses her tits, all that.

But in the fantasy, he skips that.  He goes straight for her cunt.  He licks and licks, enjoying her sounds of pleasure.  Her soft skin.  Enjoying a new clit on his tongue.  Enjoying her.

He knows how to make a woman come.  Stubbornly, persistently, he licks until she can't hold back anymore.

She comes, and it's deeply satisfying for him that for so, so long he's wanted to make her come, and finally, here she is, such a beautiful orgasming woman, his tongue pressing into her as she moves.

"What's the second way you make her come?" I ask.  "Or do you want a blow job first?"

"I want a blow job," he says.

He's been aching for her.  So she kisses his chest, his tender neck, his mouth.  They kiss and kiss.  She continues downward, and he's so excited.  He can't believe he's finally going to get blown by her.  She kisses his tummy and his pubic hair.  She kisses his balls.

Then she kisses his dick.  He relaxes, but he's very alert and aware.  He relaxes back into the bed, but he is so present with her.

She's kissing his dick and suddenly takes him all the way into her mouth.  She blows him.  She sucks him off good.

"How does her blow job feel?" I ask.

"Feels great," he says, a man of few words.

She sucks and sucks, and it doesn't take long.  He's been waiting years for this.  So he says, "Uhh!" as he comes hard into her mouth.

"Does she swallow?" I ask him.

We think about it.  "No," he said.  She spits his semen into a hotel tissue.

What's next?  He needs a couple hours before he can fuck her, so they kiss and nap.  Or magically, since this is a magical encounter, once in a lifetime, probably, he's hard and ready again.

I like to imagine her on top of him, her tits in his face, her tits in his hands.  Her body so real and soft and good on his dick as she humps him, as she puts him into her over and over again.  Maybe she loses control a little bit and uses him, closing her eyes and grunting to get herself off on that lovely cock.

Or maybe her eyes are open the whole time, and he's staring into her eyes.  Maybe it's a deep thing.  Maybe she is accepting his heart as she accepts his slippery condomed dick into her pussy, though he says he couldn't love her that way, only as a friend.

He's lying there on his back, and she's doing whatever she wants with him.  He can pretend he's innocent, though he does reach up and touch her tits, sort of like a cat pawing a cat toy.

So she rides and humps and grinds until she's coming, and in the fantasy, it's immediately afterward that he comes too, pushing her up with his entire self, pushing so deep into her with his dick as he blows his wad into the thin condom.  Is he so innocent?

They rest again.  Maybe one takes a shower, or they both do.  It feels good to be in this rhythm together in the clean, comfortable hotel room.  They doze for a little while.

Then he licks her pussy again.  His tongues teases at her clit expertly.  This is the best time.  He kisses her cuntlips and sticks his tongue into her hole.  He tenderly licks her clit, making her want more, then giving her more as he licks it harder.

"Oh god.  Oh god," she chants.  He's about to make her come, and he makes her come again and again.  He pushes down on her clit with his tongue as she yelps with an orgasm.  Then he continues, sort of like nothing happened, as she pants and tries to regain herself.

Soon she's coming again.  He makes her come five times this way, until she pushes him off of her, exhausted. But he's very happy.  It's been a long time since he made someone come like that.

She drinks some water.  She looks at him surprised, like she had no idea he could be so persistent.  It's 2 am, and they decide to go to sleep.

In the morning, they wake up.  They're a little sore but happy.  "One more time?" she asks him, pleading, but he doesn't need to be pleaded with.

This time--might be the last chance they ever get to have sex--he's on top.  He's fucking her.  He has a condom on because he promised me.

"How does it feel, to be in her pussy?" I ask.

"Soft...smooth...warm...tight," he says.

He's fucking away at her hole, and she cries out for him as she comes easily and hard.  Her pussy grasps his dick over and over again as she spasms.

He stares at her tits as they jiggle with every thrust of his dick.  He knows he's going to come soon, so he pulls out, pulls the condom off, stuffs himself back into her pussy, and groans as he ejaculates into the deepest part of her, his sweet come filling her like he's wanted for so long.

"Well, that was unexpected," she says when he's done shaking.  They shower and pack and go.