yours

Last night we were lying in bed cuddling.  I didn't have a shirt on.  You touched my nipples gently, and I was so happy.  I felt my cunt ache with desire as the blood rushed in.  My clitoris felt enlivened.

I pushed you back on the bed and went down on you.  You were silent.  Your cock was all the way in my mouth, and I moved my lips at the base of your cock.  You murmured.  I sucked your cock enthusiastically.  You were pulling me up so your cock was aligned with my cunt.  You wanted in me.

I took off my clothes, and you were on top of me.  You slipped yourself inside of me, partially, and I struggled to get you all the way in.  I think you like it when I beg you for it.  When we pushed all the way together, I gasped.  That's exactly what I wanted.

I rubbed my nipples with my thumbs as I felt your weight and reality on top of and inside of me.

You thrust gently a few times.  I wanted you so badly, wanted to come so badly.  I pushed against you.

Then you withdrew, not wanting to come.  You rested your cock on my cunt for a few seconds.  I wanted you back inside me.  I pushed my cunt up against you in a rhythmic way.

Then you entered me again.  I was excited and so aroused for you.  You were still, and I tried to make you fuck me.  I writhed beneath you and grabbed at your body.  You thrust slightly, giving me what I wanted partially, and then pulled out again.

Then you were coming on my belly.  I felt your cock spasm, and your beautiful balls were against me as you came.

You got a paper towel and cleaned us up.  Then you sucked my right nipple and touched my left as I rubbed my clitoris and remembered how it felt when you were inside me.  You sucked my nipple energetically, and I was so grateful for you.

Then I was coming, and I was completely yours.

trust

We were cuddling, and he was sleepy.  I gave him some options.  I really wanted to look at porn together but was too shy to ask.  I wanted the sounds of porn.  And I have a fantasy about going down on him while he watches porn of someone going down on someone.  "We can keep cuddling, we can have sex, we can keep cuddling and have sex, you can unpack more boxes..."

"I like the first three," he said.

But he was falling asleep, and I suggested he nap while I took a shower.  I took a shower and felt the warm water on my body.  I washed my hair and got very clean.  I imagined his tongue on my cunt--that's what I hoped would happen.

I went back to the bedroom, and my hair was dripping wet.  He held his arms out to me.  I was above him in bed, dripping water onto him.

Then we were cuddling again.  Somehow I suggested that he give my nipples a lot of attention.  I was happy but not satisfied.

"Would you go down on me?" I asked.

"Yes," he said, and he moved his head toward my cunt.

"It's been such a long time," I said.

He licked my clitoris, first gently then harder.  I was excited, and he could hear that in the sounds I made.  I touched my nipples.  I wanted to come--I was straining toward him.  I imagined him doing this to A, the one I love, other than anarchist boyfriend.  I remember the first few times he went down on me, what a revelation it was of how good sex could feel, and I wanted to share him.

Then I wanted him to kiss my mouth, and he did.  His mouth was slippery and fragrant from my cunt.  I gently rubbed my clitoris as we kissed.  My cunt was so wet from his mouth, and I touched its opening softly.

I decided to tell him what was going through my head.  I wanted him inside me and wondered if my words would make him hard.  "I want to see you go down on A," I said.  "I want you to make A come.  I want to see you fuck A.  I want to see A go down on you.  I want A to make you come."  I imagined A's body and anarchist boyfriend's body joined in these ways, and I felt really turned on.

I was holding his cock, and I felt it get hard in my hand as I touched it.  I felt the ridges at the head of his cock become defined, and I wanted to feel them with my cunt.

He positioned himself at the entrance to my cunt and eased himself inside of me.  I rubbed my clitoris as he fucked me.  And when I knew I was going to come, I removed my hand and pushed my body against him.  I let his thrusts take me all the way there.  My mouth was open wide in a voiceless scream as the pleasure hit me again and again.

"Do you like hearing my fantasies?" I asked him later.

"Yes," he said.

"Why is that?" I asked.  "Because you feel closer to me?"

"Yes," he said.  "And you to me?"

"I think so," I said.  "But it's scary."  It's scary to share my fantasies, and it can feel scary to come, too--to make myself that vulnerable to another person.

But I do it almost every day.  I trust him.

what I told him afterward

You're like god
but better.

phone sex

We were both on trips.  It was our first separation since we got together six months ago.  How did it go?  It went horribly.  Sometimes he didn't call when he said he would.  And once he hung up on me when some people walked into the room.  I felt unloved, like a low priority, without him, despondent, miserable.  I didn't know what to do.  I wrote him emails.  I wrote him a letter.  Sometimes he did call when he said he would.  But every time he was supposed to call, I got anxious.  Would he, this time?  It was terrible.

But after his conference, he was in the hotel lobby waiting until it was time for his taxi to come pick him up and take him to the train station.  I was at my parents' house.  It was around two in the morning his time.  I had been lying in bed, touching my nipples, as I waited for him to call me.

"How many times have you masturbated since you left on your trip?" I asked.

"Zero," he said.

"Oh my god!" I said.  "Why?"

"There's been no time," he said.

"Not in the shower?" I asked.

"No," he said.  Then he asked, "How about you?"

"Zero," I said.  I'd had no privacy until then.  And nothing sexy was going on.  I had been on a trip with my best friend E who is an ex but from so long ago it was a lifetime ago.  Our last night together, we lay in our respective hotel room beds telling secrets.  We did talk about sex, and it was a little titillating, but that's it for sexiness.

"Zero until now," I added.  He was in the hotel lobby, which was abandoned, and I touched my nipples again.

How did we begin having phone sex?  I reached into my underwear and started touching my slick clitoris, moaning quietly, saying his name, hoping my parents couldn't hear.  It had been...about five days, five or six days, since I had last come--this after our usual habit of sex every day.

"I love you," I said.  "I want you."

"I've loved you for a long time," he said.

He asked me if I could imagine him kissing me.  He told me, "I want to put my cock inside you."

"I want that too," I said, and I whimpered.

At one point some tourists came into the hotel lobby.  I heard their loud voices.  I can't remember what language they were speaking.  He moved away from them.

It was very quickly that I was coming, and I cried out for him as the waves of pleasure flowed through my body.  "Aw!" he said as I came.

"I love you," I said.

"I love you," he said.  "Now I'm cuddling you.  Now I'm petting your hair."

"Thank you," I said.

I was alone in the bed.  But I felt like he was with me.  In a way he was.

It was our first time having phone sex.  I'm hoping it was our last because I never want to be separated from him ever again.

forever

I was thinking about him going inside of me, no condom--I think about it a lot--I daydream about him pumping me full of his come.

But I was thinking realistically--what if he slipped himself inside of me with no condom on, just so we could feel what it felt like?  Just so we could have that experience?  Then I thought about pregnancy, how the other day he said something was inconceivable, and I said, "That's what our baby is--inconceivable."

So it was on my mind, and then he took a shower and I took a shower and we were in bed.  I went down on him for a moment.  Then he was on top of me like he often is.  I strained to get his cock on my vulva, strained to get his cock at the opening of my cunt.  I was happy when he let his cock be there.  We were kissing.  I pushed up against him so that his cock entered me a tiny bit.  What were we doing?

I pushed more, straining against him, so he slipped into me a little more.  How could we be doing this?  It was irresponsible and wrong.  "Do you want me to go all the way in?" he asked.  I nodded and smiled as he eased himself all the way up inside of me.

How did it feel?  My god, it felt good.  It was something I had never felt before, my loved boyfriend there inside me, so real and good.  It felt good physically and at the same exact time it felt so good emotionally.  I was experiencing the union I had wanted for so long.

I strained up against him more, trying to make him thrust.  He withdrew and kept his cock there at the opening of my cunt.  Again I pushed, and I was so happy when he allowed himself to enter me once more.  I cried out as he slipped all the way inside me.  He filled me.

"Fuck me," I thought but didn't say.  I wanted his thrusts.  I struggled around him.  Again he withdrew. Again I got him back.  I pushed my body against him as he was all the way inside me in a rhythmic way.  He reached for my left wrist and held it down, then my right.  I was ecstatic.

He told me he needed to be careful so he wouldn't come.  He withdrew and somehow he was lying on his back.  His cock was slick with my cunt's slipperiness, and I could see some of the fluid was white, at the base of his cock.  I took him in my mouth.

I couldn't believe how good he tasted.  I made him fuck my mouth, and I wanted his come in my throat so badly.  I sucked and sucked.  I could tell how good it felt for him, and he started to moan as he was getting close.

"I'm going to come soon," he said.  My heart was full of love as I took him deep and he moaned in the way he does when he's coming in my mouth.  I felt the come filling my mouth and felt his cock spasming.

I wanted to swallow.  I wanted the come inside my body forever, his come becoming part of me.

But I held onto his leg to keep contact with him as I spit his semen into a teeshirt.  Then I lay beside him, and I told him, "That was the hottest thing ever."  We cuddled close.  I moved his hand to my cunt, and he touched me there until I was coming too loudly.  Sorry, neighbors.

I wanted to say that as he fucked me, his eyes were rolled up in his head, and it was beautiful.  The whole thing was beautiful, and I will remember this day forever.

two questions

me:  How long will we be newlyweds?
boyfriend:  Does it need to end?

kisses

me: Does it seem like our life is one long cuddle session?
boyfriend: I can't think of a better way to live.